222 Ways To Get Kicked Out of Santoff Claussen
by FangirlsChasingSlenderman
Summary: Based off of '333 Ways To Get Kicked Out of Walmart'. Rated K . Humor, crack, fluff, and contains all characters. Sometimes, if you squint there is some sanity. Not much though.
1. 1-5

**1. Sharing a Holiday**

Bunny was just painting an egg when Jack came up and hugged him randomly. "Happy Hug a Bunny Day!" Jack yelled as he flew away. Bunny grumbled before going back to painting his egg. That child...

* * *

**2. How to be a Ghost**

Stuffing the childs toy into a random humans mailbox, Jack waited in suspense for a certain someone to come along. "Don't step on me you fool!" He yelled at the innocent child through the walkie talkie. It jumped, looked around, and started to scream.

"_Moooom!_ Our mailbox is haunted!"

* * *

**3. Pineapples and Penguins don't go with each other**

Let's just say... Tooth found that out the hard way.

* * *

**4. Pants are a Party**

Jack was wandering the Santoff Claussen being bored as usual when he found two large doors. Curious, he entered to find his eyes almost blinded by the amount of Christmas colors. The shower was going on in the bathroom, and Jack soon realised that he had stumbled into North's room. His eyes landed on the huge bedsheets on the bed, and then it dawned on him. It was North's pants.

Grinning, Jack quickly swiped the large pair of pants and exited the room.

North was surprised to find out later that Jack had managed to convince Bunny, Tooth, and Sandy into his pants and they still had room to add a few elves and yetis.

"Fine! I go on diet!"

* * *

**5. Glasses**

Jack found it hilarious when he came in during a meeting to find that Bunny had a pair of _glasses_ on. Who knew the Kangaroo had poor eyesight? It didn't also help that they were old man glasses. Thick frames and a green tint.

"Oh rack off, you bloody show pony!"

* * *

**Bolded words = Fangirl**

_Italicized= Slenderman_

**This is our first jointed book together. This is going to be full of crack, humor, fluff, and craziness. Maybe some OC's, maybe.**

_We got this idea from 333 Ways to Get Kicked Out of Walmart, and it was super funny! We are going to do that, but a hundred and eleven less... Because we honestly don't know where this is going._

**We both have separate accounts, but go to our profile to check them out. I hate long A/N's, so we are just end this.**

_Thank you, and please review. I haven't posted something in a year, so I am counting this as my first with my friend. I don't like flames-_

**-And I am handy with knives-**

_-so please review and love! Thank you!_

**Also, if you would like an idea, PM us, do NOT review the idea. We'll even mention you in the chapter if you give us the idea. Remember, do NOT review the idea (unless you are a guest), just PM us. Or Email. Whatev.**

_**REVIEW!**_


	2. 6-10

**6. Sharing Dance Moves**

The rest of the Guardians were just watching Sandy do a dance that was disturbingly like Gangnam Style.

"Do you think he knows that we're watching him?"

"Oh. I wish I have a camera!"

* * *

**7. Fireplaces are evil**

North was standing too near a fireplace when his beard caught on fire. For Christmas this year, his beard was definitely too short.

"Bunny will never let me live this down."

* * *

**8. Icecream**

Bunny was ready for some relaxation after Easter, and went to his fridge to eat of his icy goodness. Instead he found Tooth on the ground with empty icecream cartons around her.

"It said it was sugar free."

* * *

**9. Where's Waldo**

It's one of Jack's favorite things to do while flying over Paris. Except this one time...

"WALDO!"

"Crap! He saw!"

* * *

**10. Elves With Revenge**

After this plot, the elves were never allowed in the kitchen. Or the paint room. Or North's office. Or the Yetis homes. Or anywhere in the Santoff Claussen. They were locked up in the closet for most of the time. Don't worry. They had a TV.

* * *

**There's our second chapter! First ten done!**

_Yay!_

**Please review **_**this time.**_

_I want something. Anything. Even just a single word._

**This made us laugh, so I hope you do too.**

**F**c_S_


	3. 11-15

**11. Battle of Yetis**

Remind North to keep them away from the Nerf guns. They were almost as bad as the elves on a sugar high.

* * *

**12. The Most Annoying Song Ever**

"Hello everybody welcome to the Cemetary, good people go to heaven and bad people go to hell-o everybody welcome to the Cemetary, good peo-"

"SHUT UP."

"You are back on naughty list if you keep it up."

* * *

**13. Quote A Movie**

"Christmas!"

"Easter!"

"Christmas!"

"Easter!"

"Halloween!"

The two stopped from their argument to look at Jack. He looked up at them with his blue eyes and asked, "so you guys weren't quoting from Shrek? I thought I was Donkey..."

* * *

**14. Mobs**

Jack didn't know that all the Baby Teeth made him a Mob Boss. So when Jack and Bunny were having a friendly (*cough cough*) wrestling match, he was shocked to find that Bunny was pinned down by mini Tooth's in black suits.

"Now my minions, we steal North's hat!"

* * *

**15. Mission Impossible**

The Elves had somehow watched the movie on the TV, and escaped. Now they were shooting everybody with water guns and wearing black pin striped suits.

Unfortunately, they were like ninjas. Without the bells on their hats, they were impossible to find in the shadows.

"Another hit me! I'm down!"

"It's just water ya gumby."

* * *

**5.**

_5._

**_We got 5 reviews._**

**This is more than I had ever gotten in a single chapter in the begining of my book.**

_You make me so happy._

**This is a shoutout to the guest who's name was 'Bookwormbri'. I was checking up on the reviews during lunch at our school-**

_-And she was across the school and she started to sprint towards me. I was tackled-_

**-and then started to scream "WE GOT A REVIEW"-**

_-So I started to scream while jumping up and down-_

**-and then we screamed almost the entire lunch period, causing a few teachers to come over. We spent most of our time loving and fangirling your review.**

_The bigger the review the bigger screams. Thank you 'Bookwormbri' and everybody else who reviewed._

**Apparently everybody loved Waldo... it was my idea... why was it so funny?! Whatev. Thanks for all the amazing reviews! Please keep it up because the more motivation we get the better and long these things are. :)**


	4. 16-20

**16. Slenderman**

Sandy was the only one still awake and screaming silently. The others were either under blankets, or on the floor.

This was worse than Pitch anyday.

* * *

**17. The Boogeyman**

Pitch wasn't just the Nightmare King, oh no. He was also the Dancing King. It's in the name.

* * *

**18. Mermaids**

Sandy never told anybody about the visitors that frequented his island. Until one day when Jack was fishing.

"North! North! I caught one!"

"_Well... Hi there, handsome."_

"Throw it back! Throw it back!"

* * *

**19. Demon Day**

The one day that Tooth was a dentist. The one day that everybody was afraid for their mouths. The one day that even Pitch feared. The one day that Jack got sugar from Tooth for keeping his mouth nice and cavity free.

* * *

**20. The IRS**

In the many letters to Santa, there were a few letters from the IRS. Whenever the Yetis see one, they burn them. Besides, nobody can really object to losing a few letters in the huge piles that appear. It's foolproof.

* * *

**So... 9 reviews. I love you all.**

_I cannot believe that we got 9. I think I had a heart attack when I saw it._

**I am sorry that this was a day late, because we both had a field trip and we got home late.**

_I love you all._

**I wish all of you an amazing day, and to laugh a thousand times.**

_I love you all._

**Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks.**

_I love you all._

**_Review!_**


	5. 21-30 (Extra For Being Late)

**21. Popsicles**

It was a meeting between the Guardians when Bunny had the craving of an icicle. Excusing himself, he went over to the kitchen to get one. With horror, he found that they hadn't been put into the freezer. Taking a slushy packet in his paw, he went back to the meeting.

"Hey Jack. Catch."

The popsicle froze in contact with the winter sprites hands, and Bunny smiled as he took it from Jack.

"What just happened?" Jack looked confused as Bunny ignored him to eat his deliciousness.

"Don't look at us."

* * *

**22. Underwear**

The men were enjoying a hot bath (except Sandy), the kind that you would see in Japan. After a while and talking about manly things, the guys decided to to get out. To their astonishment, all of their clothes were gone except their underwear. Bunny just laughed at Jack and North, because all he was missing his leather pouches.'

The Russian had red long johns, while Jack only had a pair of blue boxers.

Now time to hunt down Tooth and Sandy to get their clothes back.

* * *

**23. National Pie Day**

Another way to call this day is 'hide the pie from Tooth'. It's just wrong to have pie without any sugar in it. A crime really.

* * *

**24. Hop (The Movie)**

Jack watched the movie with Jamie, and the entire time he couldn't stop laughing. Then, the unimaginable happened.

"JelLY BEANS!?" Jack shrieked and then fell off the couch. "He poops jelly beans!"

Jamie couldn't help join in with the infectious laugh.

"Wait until Furball sees this!"

* * *

**25. Wet Sand**

Combine that with Sandy is havoc. The most accurate description is a wet cat. The kind that tries to kill you if you laugh at all.

* * *

**Normally we would leave you like this, but since we hadn't updated recent we shall give you an extra five. Think of this two chapters combined into one.**

_It was the last week of school, and we had to say goodbye to all of our friends._

**Here is the other five:**

* * *

**26. Swords**

A few secretive elves had snuck into North's workshop and found the massive swords. Stealing them, the elves managed to set up a boobytrap.

North was not happy to have his swords fall down and cut his coat in two halfs. He was lucky that they hadn't fallen on his head, but even then. The coat!

"Phil!" He barked, "prepare to the nets! We have work to do!"

* * *

**27. Bananas**

Jamie had the opportunity to have a few of Tooth's fairies come over. One second, he swore. One second he had turned his back, and the next thing he knew was that they had managed to get into his bananas and had turned into loopy monkeys. They had become bizarrely drunk on the fruits insides. Somehow, it had to do with how banana's were slightly radioactive. Jamie had to deal with the fairies until their mother came to pick them up. One had managed to get into the sugar, another had been covered in chocolate, and the other was sleeping with Sophies barbies.

Tooth was not happy that day.

"No more bananas!"

* * *

**28. Dirt**

Bunny had been going about, doing his business when it started to rain in the Warren. Not a huge big of deal, because it happened all the time. However, he hadn't known that Jack had been there that day and decided to take a long and huge mud bath. The next day, Bunny screamed (totally like a girl, mind you) when he saw a humanoid shape of dirt on the ground, fast asleep.

It was blackmail for years to come.

* * *

**29. Bohemian Rhapsody**

North had trouble knocking on doors, just like his yetis, so it truly shocked him when he opened Jack's room to see him mimicking the moves of a guitar, and singing a song at the top of his lungs.

"BEELZEBUB HAS A DEVIL SET ASIDE FOR ME, FOR MEE, FOR MEEEEE!" Jack sang before he made guitar noises, and making the moves of an epic solo. Then after a few seconds of stunned silence, North slowly closed the door and walked away.

* * *

**30. Windows**

It was another meeting, and nobody had thought about opening the window for Jack. There was a _thack_, and a few seconds later there was a thump.

"What was that?" Tooth asked, looking at the window.

"Just a bird, I'm sure." North waved it off, and went back to their meeting.

That bird was about to murder somebody.

* * *

**That's all folks!**

_As we told you, it's now summer vacation and we have tons of time on ours hands._

**We'll never wait this long ever again. It was a tiring week as well as an emotional one.**

_Thank you for the reviews! I love the support, and I would like to wish all of you a wonderful summer vacation (or whatever you are doing)._


	6. 31-35

**31. Black Friday**

All of the Guardians were harshly woken up very early in the morning by Tooth.

"The tooth brushes are on sale! So is the toothpaste! We cannot waste this oppertunity. North, go to that Walmart, Sandy hit the Walgreens. Bunny, go to Smiths. Jack, go go go!"

* * *

**32. Pajamas**

Jack came to a meeting with fuzzy blue pants on with a over large shirt on.

"What are you wearing?" Bunny foolishly asked.

Jack looked at him with a very serious face and smacked him in the face with an long sleeve. "You offend me. You _never_ question the pajamas."

* * *

**33. Lights... Camera... JACK!**

Jack could only say that he really loved Photobombing random pictures. It's not like people could actually see him... except.

"You and Einstien, huh?"

"Stop looking at those Jamie. I was foolish and young!"

"Jack... you still are foolish and young."

* * *

**34. You did!**

North was very unhappy one day to find out somebody had eaten all of his cookies. When he brought the subject up, the other guardians refused of even touching the things. They had broken out of a fight, accusing the other of stealing the cookies in the cookiejar.

Nobody paid any attention to Sandy as he silently brushed cookie crumbs off of his face.

* * *

**35. Flying Whales**

Jack had come into a meeting a little wear for tear. When the other Guardians asked what was wrong, he gave them a sour look and then wisely said this.

"When flying: watch out for flying whales."

They still have no idea what exactly what that means.

* * *

**Well, I hoped all of you enjoyed that!**

_Thank you for the continual support!_

**Though... I have noticed... we only got three reviews.**

_Not that we're saying that we're being picky._

**Is it just a disapointing.**

_We understand. It's because it was so late. Oh well..._

**Another shout out to Bookwormbri! You're amazing gurl! (You should get an account. Really. We would read anything you'd write.)**

_Thanks also to Shamangirl1 and Princess Hephzi of Arendale. You guys also reviewed, and we like you. Just because._

**One last important thing! Can you please check out my other book? Its called 'North Wind' under my other pen name, TheFeelsAreAfterMe. If you don't want to, it's alright. I just wondered if you could tell me how I am doing. That's all. Nothing else.**

**_Review!_**


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